Why Mormons Don’t Drink

I know these two things to be true:

  1. Drunken people are hilarious
  2. Drunken people are annoying and really freaking stupid

You can see where this becomes a problem. Continue reading


The Decent Human Being


Once upon a time, people were held to strict social standards. Men and women had different roles in society, and their social customs—manners—were formal and well-defined. I don’t need to go to great lengths to describe this code, because you all know what I’m talking about. Men treated women with a certain attitude. As the role of women in society changed, so did the aforementioned social codes—the “death” of chivalry. It’s not fair to ask for both equality and old-school social codes. It doesn’t work like that. Women blame men for being mannerless, and men defend themselves, and we all fight and nobody lives happily ever after.

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A Message for the Potterheads

In English 241 (which I refer to as “Lord of the Rings class” or “loosely-graded book club”) we’ve long finished LotR and moved through T.H. White’s long and frankly strange work The Once and Future King, a tale of King Arthur. On Thursday, we started the third leg of the class, the one that everyone had been waiting for, the big finale: Harry Potter.

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Let It Go, Joykillers

So, everyone – and I mean everyone with only a small exception – has seen Frozen, the triumphant return of the memorable Disney musical (2010’s Tangled was the first hint of light in the darkness; Frozen is the spectacular sunrise).  This is the spoiler alert for the ten people left in America that haven’t seen it.

This movie deserves every bit of the credit it gets. It’s genuinely funny (eg: “Hoo-hoo! Big summer blowout!” and every single thing Olaf says), the characters are unique and the songs, man – they knocked the music out of the park with this one. There’s a reason that Let it Go has been playing on radios and iPods non-stop for probably a month now. The other songs are great, don’t get me wrong, but Let it Go in particular not only defines the movie but may well define this generation of Disney, just as Circle of Life is the favorite song of my generation.

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My Head Hurts


One of two things can happen when you are in school: you either learn something, or you don’t. And when you don’t and you’re forced to at least try, you end up really angry.

I’m not talking about that basic class where you already know all of the answers. There’s potential for learning in an environment like that if you decide to have a little “fun” with the coursework. I’m talking about when teachers are shoving something down your throat and no matter how hard you try, you can’t swallow.  Continue reading

Administrative Note, 1 April 2014: Twitter Takes Over


So apparently it’s “suggested” (read: “required”) that a writer/blogger have a functional Twitter account. According to agents, serious bloggers, celebrities and everyone under the freaking sun, it’s the super deity of all social networking and an active account on the site is a great way to connect with readers. Though I actively slam the site for messing with society and creating monsters out of us all, I must confess that I have fallen victim to that cute little blue bird.

To say these words causes me physical pain, but please follow my Twitter, @JPerez_Ansible,  if you get a chance. Perhaps we can kill the beast from the inside.


Accurate photo retrieved from remodlingclay.com